How?

Date: 11/30/2008
Time: 4:45 pm
Place: House




How is it possible that you have neglected the truth of what has really been happening? How is it possible that you haven't noticed anything that was going on under your same roof. I have told you time after time and it seems as if you have herd it for the first time ever. It shocks me that you act like you have never herd of this before when i have cried to you and you said hat everything would be okay.How can you still look at this person and not hate them the way i do. How do you still hold that persons hand. How do sit down and chat with them as if what i have told you had no effect on you what so ever. It doesn't hurt me so much to see them but it kills me to see that you don't care. That what i told you didn't in the slightest way move you, You where the one who was to take of me and watch over me and look at you now. You have failed to comply with your duties. How do sleep at night knowing what is going on and knowing that you are not doing anything about it. How do you look in the mirror and not hate your self. I don't know how you are capable to live with your self. Tell me, how do live with your self? How do you act like nothing at all is wrong? How do you pretend to neglect everything? Answer me how is it that you do that?

Its okay

Date: 11/29/2008
Time: 2:39 pm
Place: House



Its okay to loose your pride over someone that you love but, it is not okay to loose the one that you love over your pride. It is okay to let your boundaries fall around those closest to you. If you always have a boundary up how are you going to be able to express to those what you really feel. How are able to know what those around you are trying to show you. You have told me your self that first comes you , second comes you and third comes you and i agree with that. I do, don't get me wrong but when you just keep pushing side the person who is trying so hard to show you that they really care about you then that is not good. Its okay for a man to have their soft side. Its okay to let your guard down. Its okay to show someone that you love them. Its okay to lay next to them and hug them or cuddle with them. Its okay to tell them that you love them before they say it. Its okay to want a kiss from them before they ask you for one. Its okay to want someone else other then your self.

I dont get it

Date: 11/25/2208
Time: 5:37 pm
Place: Library


MHHH... Christmas is coming pretty soon. Everybody is going crazy shopping for everything that is at a low price. Thanks giving hasn't even passed yet and everybody is shopping. There are people who are even done with all their shopping. That is really crazy once you think about it. Now that black Friday is coming up i cant even begin to think about how busy all the stores are going to be. Lucky for me I'm going to be working that whole day so will not be able to do any shopping of my own. I will be able to see everybody else who are shopping. Well to me black Friday isn't that big of a deal i mean okay their are no taxes and some things are on sale but i mean doesn't that happen all the time. Their are always sale prices and offers going on. I'm not personally a big fan of shopping just to shop. I don't understand how their are people who must shop at least one time a week. Why don't they just save their money instead of spending it all. I would rather save my money for a real emergency. Like my sister she buys about a hundred pairs of shoes. Why? I don't know she only has to feet. Why does she need a million sneakers i don't know. She can honestly go about four months without repeating the same pair. I tell her why don't you give some to the poor who really need shoes and dot have any. I don't know i just don't get it.

Help the needy

Date: 11/23/2008
Time: 4:21 pm
Place: House



Thanks giving has yet not came and people are already going crazy buying things for Christmas. Some say that they are doing it early this year due to our economy that seems to be getting worst as the days go by. It is kind of sad if you really think about it. For this thanks giving there are so many people and families that don't have anything to eat or to give to their children. It has been said on many occasions that shelters are running out of food to give ti the needy. The people that were once giving food and clothes to the needy are the ones who are now needing form those same shelters they once helped. Our economy is slowly going down hill. If i had money to give to the people in need i wouldn't think about it twice. It is not easy to see others with food and know that you are hungry. I know that this Christmas wont be any different. Their will be even more families with out food, shelter or clothes. What are when suppose to do then? Are we just suppose to turn our backs on them and Tell them that we no longer can help them because we don't have anything to give them.

Tired

Date: 11/22/2008
Time: 2:37 pm
Place: House



Tired is not even a word to describe how exactly i feel at this very moment. I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep but i can because i have so many other things that i have to do right now. If only i had a robot who could do all my homework for me then maybe i could get a couple extra hours of sleep and i wouldn't be this tires as i am right now. Then just thinking about work just gets me even more tired. If i didn't have to work for at least one week i would be the happiest person alive. But for those of us who have to joggle between going to work and going to school it is not easy at all. I don't even know what the heck I'm writing right now. It probably doesn't even have any meaning to it whats so ever. But I'm trying to stay aWake for the next seven minutes that i have left in order to finish writing this. Do i actually think that I'm going to be able to stay up and finish this maybe. I don't know if i will. Well once i finish this i have to move on to a four page essay that i have due for my communications class and then i have to review my for page research paper for freshman seminar that is due. Will i get to that, most likely i wont because i will fall asleep but who knows.

...

Dtae: 11/21/2008
Time: 12:59 pm
Place: House



Is it possible that you no longer want to be with me any more. You say that im just making you miserable instead of making you happy. Could it be? Is it true? I dont know, please tel me what it is that you want. Please tell me what is it that you feel, what do you want to do? I dont want to be casuing you problems. IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING WRONG THAT I DO, iM SORRY IF IM NOT A GOOD ENOUGH GIRLFRIEND LIKE THE ONE THAT YOU DESERVE. im sorry for not being able to make yu happy. Im sorry if it bothers you when i call you. Im sorry if it bothers you when i touch you. Im sorry if at times i just want a hug to know that you love me. Im sorry if i just cuddle enxt to yo when we are laying down. Im soory if i bother you for a kiss at time to time. Im sorry for missing you when you are away from you. Im sorry for expressing my feeling for you the way i do. Im sorry if in public you dont like to hold my hand and i keep on insisting. Im soory for crying when somehting is bothering me. Im sorry for wanting you to hold me tight in your arms and never ever let me go. Im sorry for everything, all of it.Im sorry for wanting to spend time with you.Tell me what it is that im doing wrong?

People

Date: 11/20/08
Time: 5:27
Place: Library



People are so funny. At the end of the day my stomach was hurting from so much laughing. Who know that people were so dumb. How is it that you pay for a whole cart full of items go to the bathroom and completely forget everything that you just bought at the store. Well that is exactly what happen today. Then some guy tries to return a phone that his supposed friends bought in another target, but the phone in the box wasn't the right one so the guy got mad and threw it on the floor and broke it. I don't get it how dumb are people now a days. Sometimes it kind of scares me to see the stupid things that people actually do. I had a friend that jumped of his roof of his two story house into his pool. Why would he do that do you ask? Well honestly i dint know why he would be willing to risk his life, but he did. I also had two Friends that made a bet with each other. They both said that who ever could snort the most pepper and salt up through their nose would get fifty dollars. So I'm watching both of them get ready to snort pepper and salt. Them both of them begin to tear and I'm laughing the whole time because they are so dumb. What if that messes up the nose for there rest of their lives. They don't think about that at the moment. People are just weird.

Our destruction

Date: 11/19/2008
Time: 6:49 pm
Place: House



I personally don't think that it Will snow this year due to he fact that it hasn't been as cold yet during this time of the year. I mean it has been cold days and rainy days but i don't think that it will snow like in the past years when the snow use to cover your cars. Lately the word has been that due to the fact the worlds temperature has increased that the glaciers have been melting and at a very rapid paste. I miss when it use to snow alot because i use to love to go out and just jump onto the piles and piles of snow. Know the snow barely even sticks to the ground. If it does snow it is very little to none at all. Do i blame global warming for this? Of course i do. Global warming is causing so much problems whether is is economically or with our climate. If we continue destroying our environment the way that we are now we wont last long. We will either kill our selves from some type of disease due to air pollution or we will burn to death due to the hole in the ozone layer that just keeps getting bigger and bigger an allowing more UV rays to hit the earth. This can cause people to get skin cancer and die. The way i look at it is, that we have a choice we can help fix what we have created or we can just let it go and see how we destroy our selves.

Why

Date:11/15/2008
Time: 4:28 pm
Place: house



How can you help someone that you know if they dont want to be helped. You can keep trying and trying but if they are not willing to make the effort to change then your just wasting your time with them. Im hear listening for your cry for help and im talking to you but itrs seems like what im telling you is not phasing you. I keep teling you the same things over and over agian but why arent you willing to listen to me and change.

Today

Date: 11/14/2006
Time: 2:13 pm
Place: House



It amazes me how young girls now a days don't give them selves respect. They see a nice guy and they begin to flirt with them in the matter of two seconds. What has this world came to? Hasn't their mothers taught them better then to act like that? Cant they see that acting like that gives boys the freedom to treat them like slots. I don't know why they have to act that way. If they see a cute guy then its okay to want them to notice you but if you have to go out of your way to do something for them to even notice you then it is not worth it. When you stand out to someone let it be for something good and not something bad that will allow them to treat you like trash. Young Ladies should really think about this. Then they wonder why it is that guys are talking about them behind their backs. Well honey the answer is that you put your self out their. We all know that the majority of the guys don't think with the head between their shoulders they mostly think with the head between their legs. Yes they do work for what they want to get and once they have gotten what they wanted they will leave you and find someone else. So don't be dumb. Be smart about it. If the person really cares and loves you they will wait for yo u and be with you for the person that you are not for what you have to give them.

Global warming

Date: 11/12/2008
Time: 6:05 pm
Place: House


Knowing that the the amount of natural environment is gradually decreasing worries me. And i think that it should begin to worry you ask well. Since you too do live on this planet that we are slowing consuming. Have you ever thought about what would happen to happen to us once we use up all our resources. What will we use in a substitute? One of the biggest problems that we have is the burning of fossil fuels which also pollute our air that we breath. How can we minimize that amount of fossil fuel that we burn on a daily bases? Easy one quick way that you can help is by trying to drive you car less. When you are near something, walk instead of driving. This could also help you save a couple cents here and their for gas. Another problem that we are having is the mass consumption of rain forest. We are killing our sources that give us oxygen, not only that but we are also destroying habitats for many species. Due to our consumption of rain forest their has been many species of animals that are in danger if extension. Why/ Because we don't seem to be concerned with what happens to other species we only concern our self's with our needs. So make a difference. Don't continue to ruin our plant. Help us nourish what we have killed.

Budget

Date: 11/11/2008
Time: 6:48 pm
Place: House



It is very useful when you make a budget which allows you to see how you use your money. Making budgets isnt as hard as people may think that it is. Did you know that the number of adolescents that are graduating with debts is graduallt increasing. The rate has gone up drastically in the past couple of years. Why is this happening They don't have budgets on the money that they are spending on a daily bases. They may think that spending five dollars a day on food or other little things aren't much but if you think about it. Spending five dollars a day is spending about one hundred fifty dollars in a moth. I bet you never though about it that way now did you? Every dollar counts whether you think it does or doesn't. It has proven that if you have a budget and know what you are spending your money on you will not go into debt. Plastic is used by millions of people world wide. Credit cards can get you into alot of trouble and fairly quickly. Yes you do need a credit card to establish credit but you only need one you don't need to get ten different cards. Credit cards are okay to have if you are willing to pay your bill on time plus the interest that the company charges you for using the card. Use a budget and be smarts. Don't be another statistic.

Today

Date: 10/11/2008
Time: 6:25 pm
Place: House




I tried to remain cool after someone disrespected me. I'm a very nice person the majority of the time. How ever i never ever let any one disrespect me. Today i went on my fifteen minute break and i spilled my juice on my pants. I went to go tell my manager because i knew i was going to be late. Well to make the story short i had to buy a new pair of pants. And as i was going back onto my register i here some one say hurry up hurry up and snapping their fingers. That is the worst thing you can do to me next to whistling. I hate people who snap at me. I turned around to see who it was and to my amazement is was exactly who i thought it would be. I look at her but didn't say anything because i knew that i was going top say something that i was later going to regret. I went back on to my register and didn't even have a chance to eat. The manager asked why hadn't i ate and i simply replied because it seems to bother people around here. Mistakes happen once in a while. I admit i was two minutes from my break but to minutes isn't going to kill anyone.

Father

Date:11/ 10/2008
Time: 3:15 pm
Place: House




You come and go like nothing has happened. You look me straight into the eyes and act like nothing went wrong. What type of human being are you. You have no heart to feel any emotions at all. I look at you and i see nothing at all but a waste of space. How can you act like nothing at all is wrong. I don't get it . How can you possibly sleep at night. If i were you i would be ashamed of my self i wouldn't be able to go out in public, but you have no dignity at all. You call your self a dad. HAHAHAHAHAHA you make me laugh. Some one asked me what a father was and i was clueless because of you. I have no meaning of a father. My definition of a father is my mother. For she has been both my mother and my father. She has given my love that i never receive from you. How do you label our self with such a responsibility. You make me laugh. You are nothing but a joke. You will soon pay for all the damage that you have done. I don't worry because i know that god will give you your punishment that you deserve for all the night that i cries over a father that never existed. You will cry the tears that i cried ten times worst. You will no how it felt to be alone.

Me AND YOU

Date: 11/9/2008
Time: 6:52 pm
Place: House




I wish that i would have met you in a better place and time. I wish you would have crossed my path at an early moment, then maybe i wouldn't have had to suffer or go throw all i went through. I don't blame you for acting the way you do sometimes. But you once said that the past was the past and that in the past it would stay. But why are you saying otherwise today. What changed your mind. With no doubt in my mind i can tell you that i truly do love you with all my heart. I know that you do to, but my question to you is why cant you show me that you love me too? Why must you hold back on everything that you are feeling for me. Why do you surround your self with a brick wall as a boundary. What must i do to break that wall down and show you that i don't want to hurt you. I been through it many of times before. I will not make the same mistake once again. I will not lose you for anything in the world. You are my heart and soul. You are me my comfort zone. You are the one that i come to when i need help. You are the one that i come to when i can no longer substain the pain that I'm holding inside. You are the one who owns my heart You are the one who makes me laugh you are the one who always picks me up when I'm down even though sometimes you are the one who pushes me down to begin with. But in every relationship their are arguments. And with every argument that we get through together it just shows how much we love each other.

Life or death

Date: 10/8/2008
Time: 12:36pm
Place: house



what happens after you die? Where do you go? Do you really go to heaven or hell? We will never know that for sure no matter what scientist or people who believe in god say because to them it is still a myth as well. Rest in peace grand mother. You will be missed be everyone always and forever. Everybody knows what happens to your body but what happens to your soul. Why are their still people who roam the earth. Why cant they move on to the next life like others do.Their are many people who fear death but their are others who want to die because they say that we are in hell. That the life that we are living is hell and that when we die we will go to heaven. Do i believe that theory no, i don't think that we are living in hell. The people who fear death are the ones who are happy with their life's and don't want to leave tier loved ones behind. The ones who want to die are the people who say that when they are dead they will be in a better place then where they are now. Why would you want to die? I don't know but all i know is that i once you are dead their is no coming back no matter how much you plead and beg. Grandma we miss you and love you. May you rest in peace.

Headache

Date: 10/6/2008
Time: 5:20 pm
Place: Library




Major headache all day long. Feel as if the whole world around me just wants to in cave in wards on top of me. I see the screen of the computer but nothing is coming to mind at the moment. All i can do is feel the pulsing of my blood against my skull. I wish that it would go away but i know that it wont. I have to isolate my self from the world for the rest pf the night and try to get some sleep, maybe then my headache will go away. I just want to have a bed to lay on inside a dark dark room with absolute;y no noise at all to bother me. I want to lay down go to sleep and not have to be worrying about anything else right now. My eyes feel as if they were set in fire or as if soap went into them. I'm just exhausted. After a couple of months of working and going to school and have to deal with other issues, you fell drained. It catches up to you believe it or not. I thought that having a job and going to school wasn't going to be as hard as it is now. Im going to see if i can find a quite place in my house so i can get some rest.

The end of the world

Date: 10/4/2008
Time: 3:15pm
Place: house



How is the end of civilization going to happen? Are we going to be the ones who cause our own destruction to happen? Most likely yes we will be the ones to bring on the end of the world as we know it. Their have been many theories on how the world is going to end. I personally don't think that it really matters how the world ends because once the world is over then what is the point of worrying what caused it. One of the theories about how the world will end is from an old myth about a man who was able to look into a mirror and predict the future. He said that two brothers would fall and the twin towers fell. He also said that the world was going to end on December 21, 2012. Do i believe that is true? Yes and no. I think that their will be many bad thing happening from here till that time frame. But do i honestly think the the whole world will end in the matter of years no. I try to always think on the positive side. Their have also been theories that the world will end when god returns back onto earth. That is the religious belief on how we will die. Do i believe in this theory? No i don't. I do believe in god but i don't believe that he will come back on earth and kill everybody for no good reason.

Money

Date: 11/2/2008
Time: 5:59 pm
Place: House


Question of the day... Why do we pay high prices for something that costlittle to make. Well the answer to that question is that we the buyers are the ones that make the prices on most of the things that we buy. It is the whole concept of supply and demand. If we demand more of something and their isn't a sufficient amount then the maker will try to make a profit becuse they know the we the buyers need it. If their is an over production of something and no one is buying it the maker need to get rid of it so they try to lower the price for people to actually buy their product. Our economy is not at a very good position right now. We are in a recession and the government isn't doing much to help the problems that we are facing. We the consumers have to speak our minds and let our government know that the prices on certain things are way to hi for us to pay. For example gas prices have dropped due to the fact of the election but once the election is over the price of gas will sky rocket. We should we have top pay so much for our resources. Well make be if we stopped buying gas and the gas companies began to loose money then maybe they would see that their gas prices are way to high for someone to pay.

Date: 11/1/2008
Time: 8:29 pm
Place: House



Tie seems to be passing by so fast. Halloween just went zooming by and pretty soon it will be time for Christmas. I don't know if it only me but as i get older i feel that time is passing by more faster. When i was younger i use to feel that a whole year would take eternity to pass. And now before i even know it, the next year is about to begin. I wonder why this happens. I guess that the simply answer is that when you are younger you don't have much to worry about so have plenty of free time on your hands but as you get older you have so many things in life that occupies time that you don't realize how much time you are actually spending on something. When you are younger you don't have a job that you have to go to, you don't have yo go home and study for midterms, you just go home and relax or go out with your Friends. When you get older their Inst as much time as you use to have for all of that. Their are many other important things that you have to be doing. I don't know ask your self. why does time feel like it is passing by faster as you get older?

Up to us now

Date: 10/31/2008
Time: 4:12 pm
Place: House

We are growing up,

we are no longer little kids.

We cant depend on our parents no more,

for they have let use go and set us free.

They have accomplished their duties in life,

and now we have to do ours.

We will have to push our selves if we want to get somewhere in life.

They have tried to raise us to the best of the knowledge.

They have given up many things for us although they may never tell you.

It is up to us to make them proud,

it is up to us to show them that they did a good job.

We are growing up.

Nothing can stop that from happening.

We have go forward with our dreams and make them into a reality,.

We have to help them the same way that they helped us when we were in need.

We have to be by their side they way they were by our side.

We have to take care of them they way they took care for us.

It is now up to us to decide what we are going to do.

They can no longer decide for us.

Nothing

Date:10/30/2008
Time: 12:47 pm
Place: House




Getting use to this is not going to be easy. You are over their and I'm stuck here. I hardly see you but when ever i have five minutes to my self i try to see you through that small window of time. I miss us sitting down for hours at a time doing nothing at all. Now the time that we do spend together we find our selfs talking about school and nothing else. How did it come to this? I don't know the answer to that question. You go to school and work and well i do the same but our time frames don't seem to match up. I miss you more and more ever second that you are away from me. I get sad when i think about the thought if me not being to see you anytime soon. I miss your smiles which simply mad me smile for no good reason at all. MMMMMHHHHH! those days when we didn't have to worry about much in life. Its not the same any more many things have changed but i know that it is was for the better. I cant complain about anything because you have been a great person with me. You have shown me that me and you can make this work. Getting use to this is not going top be easy but i will get use to it.